sometimes i lie on our bed staring at the window and contemplate consciousness. it’s in moments like that when i realise how much ‘asleep while awake’ i am. my mind in a trance like loop, repetitive automatic behaviour ensues and i miss out on really experiencing ‘the now’. i wonder why it is so difficult to remain ‘awake while awake’, i wonder why habit, trance, sleeping while being awake is so much easier. yet, i am grateful for my glimpses of awareness, the short liberating connecting moments with ‘the now’.
the now; it’s where utter freedom lies. because surrendering to the now, in there; everything just is, no must should do be go find leave stay, there is only ‘what is’ devoid of judgement and difficulty, acceptance of now; that is the secret to life.
yet it is so difficult with this dominance of mind.
adyashanti, mooji, tolle, byron katie, they all point at the now, but i often find myself just looking at the finger that points, missing the actual experiencing of what they’re pointing at.
growing the baby is going well. i’ve been cleared for gestational diabetes, which was a relief as my blood sugar was high on the first test (not an accurate test). i can’t wait to meet this little guy, simply can’t wait. i’m entering into week 33 now…
i’ve been busy with running the art journal course, creating art and ATCS, preparing world of whimsy DVDs and helping andy with mediation jobs.
some of my recent art;
more has happened and is going on but too tired to write about it all! :)
anyone who is also on twitter; follow me here, i’m more active there, as it’s small little updates! :-)