these little adorable housies are now for sale in my etsy shop!
hullo the world.
i think i am going to have to resign to the fact that updating blogs is no longer something i can do as frequently as i’d like! when i look back over my journal, there was a point where i updated 4-5 times a day at times (2004). now, i’m lucky if i get to update 4-5 times a month. there are two reasons for this;
1. dylbee, of course, the little angel sort of lives ON me for about 75% of the day. i am an ‘attachement’ or ‘baby-led’ parent, meaning; i respond to his needs where/ when needed; his needs are prioritised over mine (within reason, of course). babies this age need a lot of physical hugs, holding and contact, hence, he lives on me for a substantial part of the day, and blog writing isn’t so easy with one hand. :)
2. twitter. now that i can update to twitter in short sentences and share videos and photos within a matter of seconds, i somehow feel i am connected and share what i normally share in longer versions over here and on blogspot. twitter is miniature blogging and it fulfills many of my blogging needs, ha ha. so, because of twitter i don’t feel totally deprived from the blogging world and therefore don’t go through great lengths to get a blog post out.
but, yes, i do do do do miss this. i miss spilling over and spilling out all my inner feelings, thoughts and stufffff.
i enjoy writing more lengthy posts, and i like really digging deeper into my emotional, psychological states, or merely writing poetically about my day/ life etc.
so, dylan fell asleep about 20 mins ago and i have some time to write! yahoo! :D i can feel you all jumping up and down with excitement. ;)
now then, here follows an account of what’s been happening with me, lately;
the two most important people in my life
♥ dylan remains an amazing marvel of a human being, he grows stronger and bigger every day and he is this constant source of love and amusement. also a source of sleep deprivation, although he’s sleeping for much longer chunks at night more or less all time now. on jan 17th he’ll be 5 months old! wowsa.
♥ andy remains this beautiful, compassionate, amazing person who has infinite amounts of patience, love and care for me and our child. my text message to him earlier today says it all;
here is a little video of the both of them, done today;
i’ve always wanted to make things with my hands out of clay, but always thought i need a big fuck off kiln for that, so never went down that road. then, i discovered polymer clay which hardens in a normal home based oven. imagine my joy! so, i’ve been sculpting, baking, painting and varnishing polymer clay lately (something that can more easily be done with a sleeping baby on your lap) and am LOVING it, see pics above of the little clay houses. and another example;
(also for sale in my etsy shop)
it’s wonderfully therapeutic to make these. gonna do much more of it if i can.
i don’t know if it’s hormones from baby things or the new rheumatism meds i’m taking, but i am still incredibly ‘tuned in’ or ‘affected by’ other people’s suffering. to the point where it’s really making me depressed, sad, scared and fearful.
take the haiti disaster, or the man who was executed in china. when i hear these things, i imagine it happen to myself or a loved one and can’t stop crying. i know, rationally, that this is in no way helpful or achieving anything, the whole thing is completely pointless, but i can’t seem to stop myself from doing it. we did a search online and looked up depression as a side effect to my meds and some people did mention depression but apparently it’s rare.
i have moments where i can be more ‘zen’ about other people’s suffering, but i often slip back into feeling terribly upset by it all, to a much greater extent than from before i had dylan. at times i’m a bit at a loss as to what to do about it, byron katie’s approach seems to work best, but it’s as if a part of my brain keeps overriding any strategy i have to not get affected (or just less hysterically affected!), so it’s wearing me down a little bit.
the new house
we still haven’t completely unpacked! one of the rooms has got a pile of unpacked boxes and bags in it, but other things keep taking priority! like work and dylan and watching tv for instance, ha ha. ;)
but anyway, here is a little tour of our house!
art courses & ning
my new art course, fabulous faces, will begin on 25th of Jan, i’m working hard on getting most of the videos and pdfs ready before i even start so that during the course it won’t be possible to run out of time all of a sudden. smart thinking eh. it’s really wonderful to be back teaching, i do enjoy editing the videos together and really making the lessons as easy and accessible as possible. editing the videos is actually doable with dylan on me as i mostly need one hand only for it! registration for this course is still open, if you’re interested you can sign up HERE.
The Art of Self Acceptance – Book Project – i’m hoping to publish a book and so i’ve started this book project about art & self-love/ self acceptance! i’m looking for contributing artists! if you’re interested in contributing, have a read about the details here; http://www.willowing.org/2010/01/art-of-self-acceptance-book-project.html
i would love it if some of my lj buddies would take part!
NVC – nonviolent communication
i’ve started a weekly tele practise group with Jim & Jori Manske via the NVC Academy. jim & jori were trainers on the intensive nvc training i went to in albuquerque in 2007 and i thoroughly enjoyed learning from them and being around them. it is wonderful reconnecting with them.
i had my first session last night (i missed last week’s duh!) and some interesting exercises on ‘presence’ were shared. i would’ve enjoyed more one on one listening or interaction, but there were approx 25 people taking part so that wasn’t really possible. nevertheless, it was great having 2 hours in which i could preoccupy my mind with presence-nvc work (and some painting too) while andy looked after dylan. i recommend nvc academy for people who want to learn more about nvc.
snow. i love snow, but it’s really been limiting my mobility lately, so, if it’s ok with the snow, pls go away now. ;)
i just really want to be able to be more grounded and a little more at peace in my head.
so, to help with that, here are some helpful zen/ byron katie/ buddhistie quotes;
~ ByronKatie – “Until you experience death as a gift, your Work’s not done. So if you’re afraid of it, that shows you what to question next.” (a gift huh? … sigh, oh well .. )
“Focusing on what we think we need keeps us from being present to what’s already right here. “~Cheri Huber
“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~Winnie the Pooh (I LOVE this one!)
“The primary cause of unhappiness is not the situation, but your thoughts about it.” ~ Eckhart Tolle (sooo true!)
“Stop looking for something out there and begin looking within.” ~Rumi
“It takes great learning to understand that all things, events, encounters and circumstances are helpful.” ~ #ACIM (i sooo want to see that, but find it so difficult!)
and with that, i bid thee adieu and goodnight lovely reader.