You are braver than you think you are.

you are braver than you think you are

My word for the year 2011 (I know, it took me a while to decide) is going to be:

“awareness”

(with a hint of ‘presence’, an undertone of ‘connection’ and a dash of ‘being’)

I realised it last night as I was contemplating unwanted behaviour and strategies I employ (over-eating in response to a wide variety of feelings). I realised that the biggest thing I don’t do before I employ unwanted strategies is: become aware of and connect to ‘what is alive in me’. I just go into a trance like state, I’m on automatic pilot and I do what I always do.

Instead, if I pay attention, create awareness and really connect to what is going on within me, feeling-wise, I may be able to choose different strategies in response to whatever it is that is going on in me.

So, the challenge I set myself this year is to become more aware of my inner me. My inner Tam and give her a massive dose of lovin’. :-)

One of the ways I want to become more aware (and this is where it becomes FUN), is through art journaling. I can hear you say: ‘but Tam, you journal already’. Yes, yes, my faithful reader, I sorta do, but not in this new way I want to do it. I normally journal perhaps at the end of the day or take an hour during lunch. This time, I want to journal each time I feel down or right before -and as a prevention of- choosing unwanted strategies to deal with my stuff. So, if I feel the urge to eat (emotionally, rather than physically), I am going to take it as a sign that ‘something is up’ and I will then ask myself: ‘Tam, what is up?’, then really connect and feel my stuff and write/ journal about it. I probably won’t have lots of time for it, but just writing down something small or doing a quick doodle, a brief moment of connection with myself, may help me become more and more aware and help heal and transform.

I’m excited about this new way of trying to deal with something I’ve struggled with all my life. :)

Oh, to top it off, for this specific purpose I’m gonna make my own journal! (Because I want my journal to have watercolour paper). Eee. :)

Now, I like this idea and want to make this journal, but but but, I don’t know when because I’m currently working like MAD (6 days a week can you believe and sometimes until late late in the night).

M3 is going wonderfully! The students are doing amazing work and they are all so lovely towards each other! It’s very time consuming for me though and I’m definitely going to run my next course differently so that I time manage it better. I thought I had done enough of the materials beforehand, but I put so much more into a class nowadays compared to when I just started (simply because everything evolves) and these classes have just become ‘monsters’ (sweet ones, and pretty ones, but still monstrous in size, lol). So, I have my hands full with that. But, I can’t complain, I feel deeply blessed with all that I have and am able to do. I love my work and students so much!

After this, I am going to take a HUGE break and do a load of art just for my own enjoyment. I desperately want to make art dolls and record some more songs and do some more paintings! I’ll have time again, soon!

Althououoouuugh, in other news! I was invited by Connie from dirtyfootprints studio to be 1 of the teachers on the next round of 21 secrets! How cool is that? I am going to be surrounded by 20 other amazingly talented artists who will each share some of their art journaling secrets with all the students! The first round has been incredibly successful and this time round proves to be amazing too! Registration starts Monday, March 14, 2011.

21 SECRETS Spring opens Friday, April 1, 2011 and closes Monday, August 1. 2011. If you want to read more about it, have a peek here: http://www.dirtyfootprints-studio.com/2011/01/secret-is-out.html

So that will be a new project I’m involved with after this course, but it will in no way be as time consuming, ha ha!

Ok, here is some new art that I managed to finish off recently:


the angel and the horse
Inspired by the work of Lucy Campbell

Angel for week 3 of M3

This angel & girl were created for week 3 for the course I’m currently running. :)

And I also did an art journal entry for it which is this one:

Art Journal 2011 - angel exploration

In other news, being with Dylan still has its ups and downs, but it’s recently been more fun to be with him (depending on his level of grumpy, hee hee). He can be absolutely delightful. Earlier, I was watching him as he was engrossed in the sing and sign DVD and I was struck by so much love for him that I could crumble right before him. :)

I’m also, however, really wanting to stop breastfeeding him, but don’t know how. He loves it so much, I don’t want to take it away from him, but he puts his hands down my shirt and always scratches me in the process and it’s often not a lot of fun for me anymore. Any helpful tips on this one are welcomed! :)

Here are two cute little videos of Dylan, the first he’s in the bath (17.5 months old btw) and in the second it’s me and him giggling! :)


and here some recent twitpics, taken with the iphone:


very rosey cheeked today #TwitPict on Twitpic xxxx #TwitPict on Twitpic Let us charm you this morning x on Twitpic

And here some bigger ones.

dylbee in a funny hat

my little explorer

I am ok overall, but just feel swallowed up by a wave of work and I’m losing myself and connection with loved ones a bit. So, I’m trying to be extra mindful of that and trying to breathe, ground and take stock once in a while so that I remain centered.

I’m really loving this practical approach to trying to become more inner aware (I’ve always said: I must become more aware, but not really figuring out a way to do it and I think the conscious journaling will really help).

So with that, I bid thee adieu for the night. Sweet dreams, magic sparklies and fairy dust!

Snugs & Hugs all. x

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