Tired, so tired

Oh God, I’m tired. Andy has been away for almost 2 weeks now and though I’ve had awesome support, it’s not been easy. In particular, lil Dylan has not been easy and I’m going through a bit of an RA flare which means my knees, hips and feet in particular are affected. It hurts when I walk.

Dylan -in general- seems more on edge than usual, which is understandable what with his dad gone and new people arriving all the time to help me out. It’s unsettling, so much change. He’s also still going through learning that he has a little brother now and that he is no longer the center of the universe and that can’t be easy either. The resulting behaviour is that he is more shouty, more needy, less cooperative and less easy-going. I, on the other hand, am getting more and more tired, sleep deprived, less able to be empathetic, patient or tolerant and just want to hide in a room – alone – for 5 weeks, recuperating from all this.

Additionally, doing all this, this life, work, art, living with kids without the person you’re meant to do it with is rather bland. Like eating stale bread, or like wet snow, or like wilting flowers, pick your metaphor.

Don’t get me wrong: I am deeply blessed. I am blessed, so blessed. But I’m tired and would like a bit more ease and cooperation from my first born and perhaps a bit more sleep and some time to art. Oh and to take a shower more often than once every 3 days. Ha.

I’ve not yet had a chance to work on newer pics from Elliot and Dylan but wanted to share these from a few weeks ago:

Elliot – 7 weeks old

You can see in this pic how his eyes are uneven. I noticed from the moment he was born that something was up with his eyes. It’s either that the one has a droopy eyelid or the other is too open. I have an appt for him in March with an eye guy to look at it. I’m sure it’ll be fine, but would like it to be sorted for him, of course. They call it ‘ptosis’ on the internets and say it’s only a cosmetic problem as long as the lid doesn’t cover the pupil. If it covers the pupil it can interfere with sight and brain development. It may also correct itself, but I would’ve expected it to have corrected itself by now if it was going to. We’ll see what the eye guy has to say.


And I love this picture of Dylan (29 months). There is such light in him. He has such beauty in him and I do love him so insanely much. :) But just need a bit more cooperation from him at the moment.

He’s also got a bad cold/ cough and that always makes him much harder to deal with, he becomes even more needy and weepy, and though I understand it, it’s just not easy to deal with. The other night, I had to force the puffer (nebuliser) on him a few times which is horrible and then he threw up in his bed first and an hour later in my bed, poor thing. Of course he’s not easy to deal with with all that going on. And I try to be as understanding as I can be, but when you’re physically in pain and get very little sleep, empathy is one of the first things that goes out of the window.

Here is another pic of me and Elliot that I like:

Anyhoo. In other news: Life Book is going so awesomely. I’m so loving what everyone is doing. Students are posting work, expressing themselves, connecting up, helping each other out, just being generally really wonderful human beings. So far, we’ve had lessons by yours truly, Juliette Crane, Bonnie Rose Bryan and Kylie Pepyat-Fowler. All awesome lessons! :)

We also had an artist interview with Jane Davenport! There is SO much to do/ see/ learn from each month, it’s fabulous. I’m trying hard to find time to do Bonnie’s lesson and I want to do Kylie’s as well, but not sure if I can find the time!

I feel so touched and blessed to be running this course and to have over a thousand students! I know insane figure right?! Touched, blessed, lucky = the Tam. Sometimes, it leaves me tearful and speechless.

It’s still totally cool to sign up to Life Book btw, all classes remain available until March 2013! So you can go back and forth throughout the year! Did you know that if you sign up to the basic package that you get access to 1 other of my courses as well? You can also sign up to other packages which give you access to even more of my courses too! It is truly a really good deal even if I say so myself. :)

Sign up HERE

And thank you to everyone who bought a Tam Art Calendar!! I was so chuffed by how many of you bought one!! :) Big hugs! x 

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