more tumbling

Day 03 — A television program you watch too much. (30 days of tumblr).

ha ha. which one DON’T i watch too much? ;) there are many tv shows i watch, they put my brain in zombie mode, and having a highly active brain, i sometimes need zombie mode. here follows a list of my fav tv shows;

house, grey’s, private practice, the office, scrubs, 24, being human, castle, dexter, the tudors, true blood, dollhouse (cancelled :(), flashforward, fringe, lost, mercy, nurse jackie, peep show, qi, the bubble, supernatural (hush, i like ghost shows), the vampire diaries (hush, i like vampire shows), V.

in the past i have also religiously watched; friends, alias, charmed & buffy (hush again; it’s magic/ ghosts and vampires that i like, for some reason ;)).

so, the trend here is;

medical, comical, ghostly, vampiric, magicky shows. + english comedy talk shows – obviously – rock my socks.

out of all of those, the tv program i have watched too much of (but really, is there such a thing as too much?) =

grey’s anatomy

i have probably watched seasons 1-5 perhaps 3 or 4 times. there are some episodes of grey’s that really had me hanging on the edge of my chair. (remember the bomb episode/ izzy and danny story line/ mer drowning etc?). there is something about that show that just had me spellbound.

i’m not enjoying season 6 very much though, which bugs me to no end. i keep hoping it’ll get better. but since george & izzy have gone and meredith took more of a backseat role. :( mmeh.

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the days of tumbluhr

mother & son
dylan and i, yesterday


i started 30 days of tumblr yesterday. i’m posting them here and on livejournal also though, for fun, yes yes. :)

so, this is the list to do in the next 30 days. do it with me? (you don’t have to be on tumblr, you can do it whereever!).

Day 01 — A newly discovered song.
Day 02 — A movie you want to see.
Day 03 — A television program you watch too much.
Day 04 — A good book.
Day 05 — Quote of the Day.
Day 06 — Something random.
Day 07 — A photo that makes you happy.
Day 08 — A photo that makes you angry/sad.
Day 09 — A photo you took.
Day 10 — A photo of you taken over ten years ago.
Day 11 — A photo of you taken recently.
Day 12 — Something random.
Day 13 — A fictional book
Day 14 — A non-fictional book.
Day 15 — Something that is currently over-rated.
Day 16 — A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 — An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
Day 18 — Something random.
Day 19 — A talent of yours.
Day 20 — A hobby of yours.
Day 21 — A pair of shoes.
Day 22 — A website.
Day 23 — A YouTube video.
Day 24 — Something random.
Day 25 — Your day, in great detail.
Day 26 — Your week, in great detail.
Day 27 — This month, in great detail.
Day 28 — This year, in great detail.
Day 29 — Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days.
Day 30 — Something random.

this was my entry for day 1;

DAY 01 – a newly discovered song

a newly discovered song. (30 days of tumblr) – well not that newly discovered, but i haven’t discovered that much new music lately so i’m making this one count as a newly discovered one (ha ha). i absolutely ADORE antony & the johnsons, adore adore adore. i love this song of theirs (epilepsy is dancing). his lyrics are pure divine poetry to me.

Epilepsy is dancing
Shes the Christ now departing
And Im finding my rhythm
As I twist in the snow

All the metal burned in me
Down the brain of my river
That fire was searching
For a waterway home

I cry glitter is love!
My eyes pinned inside
With green jewels
Hanging like Christmas stars
From a golden vein

As I came to a screaming
Hold me while Im dreaming
For my fingers are curling
And I cannot breathe

Then I cried in the kitchen
How Id seen your ghost witching
As a soldering blue line
Between my eyes

I cry glitter is love!
My eyes
Pinned inside
Sea green jewels
Hanging like Christmas stars
From a golden vein

Cut me in quadrants
Leave me in the corner
Oh now its passing
Oh now Im dancin


i do a version of their ‘hope there’s someone’ here.

and this was today’s;

DAH 2 – THIRTY DAYS OF TUMBLR → a movie you want to see ->


because the trailer brought tears & beauty to my eyes.


other than that;

i am sick, tired and achy. i am also experiencing some anxiety around health. am very much focused on sorting it out though.

in other news; i ROCK at angry birds and i ROCK at ‘plants vs zombies’. :0) (iphone games).

in the most important news; i LOVE andy. he is my rock, beautiful support and angel.

i WORSHIP dylbee, snot, poo, pee, puke included. :)

& i did a new clay house! this one is twice the size than usual though!

(will be for sale in etsy shop soon).

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angels are always with you

angels are always with you

yes yes, they are. :0)

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london, art, dylan

we’ve been staying in southwark for the last week, in the borough market area and it reminds me of a neil gaiman novel. with its quaint little streets, funky little pubs and old wharfs brimming with history; i can imagine neil’s characters flitting about all over the place, either as ghosts, in the shape of mice or people who can’t be seen and live ‘under london’.

i miss reading books. i would ‘blame’ having a child for not having read books in quite some time, but the honest truth is that i tend to only read when i’m on trains or on holidays. and i’m only on trains when i have a job somewhere which requires me to ‘train’ to it, and i don’t have such a job at the moment. and i’m also not often on holiday, maybe once, rarely twice a year. so, i miss reading, but i won’t read unless i’m on a train or on holiday. it’s a kind of compulsion really.

me and london are good friends. we go way back. i first arrived here in 1995. if london were a person he (yes, it’s a he) would say to most people; ‘hey, come on in, make yourself at home! nope, i don’t care that you are different, unusual or a tad bit weird, i’m accepting and kind that way’. he would also say though; ‘look; just do your thing, i’m a bit busy and don’t really care about what you do or don’t do, but feel free to just ‘do your thing’. the first thing means that everyone is welcome here, no matter what race, creed, sexual orientation or lack of fashion sense. the second bit means that you live here rather anonymously and loneliness can kick in if you don’t actively seek out friends. london doesn’t provide much of a community. neighbours don’t really know each other, and most people just focus on their own little circle.

but i like it here. london, it makes me feel free. i love its cobble stones (although they do make sure dylan is jostled around violently in his pram) and variety of architecture and old buildings. i love the buzz, the shops, the restaurants. but mostly, i love that i feel free here.

the hotel room we’re staying in looks like a baby shop exploded in it. toys, half eaten pots of baby food, a blown up hippo ring, pram, nappy changing gear is strewn all over the place. staying in a hotel room for a week with a baby is not conducive to neat living!

for the first 2 nights dylan did not agree with the hotel room, he woke up at 2 again which is really unusual as he now standardly sleeps from 9 to 5ish. he’s been back in the bed with me for the rest of the week and that went better.

i went to holborn yesterday to buy some very cool rubber stamps, did a bit of art with them;


the white script is done with the stamp. very cool i thought.


iris came round the other day too and i took this sweet pic of her and dylan;

iris & dylan

and here is another nice picture of dylbee i took;


so, this post is a little disjointed but can’t be bothered adjusting it, gotta go sleeps now. very tired. goodnight to whoever is reading this!


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dylbee beauty

pretty dylbee pics. x ♥

dylan angel

dylan angel

dylan angel


also, this is hilarious seriously;

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art la la la art

here follows some art that i haven’t posted yet!

the first is a chagall inspired piece i did for a challenge on my ning network.

chagall inspired piece

i really like it! (the white texture was added with photoshop, but am still aiming to add it to the reall piece too!).

this was the chagall piece i was inspired by;

and here are the portrait pieces i created for my course ‘fabulous faces’. every week, i video-ed how i did the following portraits;

week 1: front facing portrait in graphite;

fabulous faces - week 1

week 2; front facing portrait in colour;

fabulous faces - week 2

week 3: 3 quarter portrait in colour;

fabulous faces - week 3

week4; profile portrait in colour;

week 4 fabulous faces

week 5; adding elements to your portrait piece

week 5 fabulous faces

week 6 still to come! :)


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dylan babbles!

omg. dylan has started to BABBLE. properly. it’s hilarious!

it is beyond cute.

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electricity fingers

fabulous faces - week 2

14.02.2010. electricity sparked from my fingers when i touched, in the dark, one of my mother’s leopard-print pillows. i stared at the blue flickery lights in awe, electrified, and thought to myself; “no one will believe me when I tell them that electricity came from my fingers”. then, i fell asleep.


15.02.2010. i walked into the hospital and stepped into the room that housed my birthfather, now in his 60ties, ravaged by a life too hard, awaiting open heart surgery. he looked well, even good, for someone with a heart problem. i even thought that his sharp facial features and his toned upper body resembled that of nick nolte’s. when he saw me and dylan, he started weeping. weeping was something he’d been doing a lot more of in the last years.

on his windowsill stood photo frames with pictures of my son, my brother and me.

his speech was difficult, but his english was surprisingly good. i studied his face, his hands. his finger nails did an odd thing; they were rounded out around his fingers. his nose, pointy, looked a little like my brother’s, not so much mine.

my birthfather holding me as a baby


16.02.2010. the wind was cold, the sky was cold and blue. we walked down to the shopping centre in hopes of finding the perfect restaurant or cafe to celebrate our 5 year anniversary in. i wanted a place that was understanding of how beautiful this was, but no cafe or restaurant seemed to understand the particular beauty that our union represented. we strolled back to the first ‘brasserie’ i had rejected. “all that matters is that we know, that we connect, that we stand still, for a moment” said andy, the most amazing man in the world. and i agreed. the restaurant, cafe, the particular place where we celebrated, did not matter. it was us that mattered. ♥ 5 years ♥

we each ordered a salad, andy chose salmon, i had goats cheese with honey. we each listed our top 5 wonderful memories of each other, andy recalled my shuffling feet rushing back from the bathroom when i found out i was pregnant with dylan. i remembered a moment of great empathy, andy has oodles of it, for me, and kisses, there are always the kisses.


17.02.2010. “he’s got my ears!” my mum exclaimed proudly! i stared with curiousity at her ears, and goodness me; she was right. both hers and dylan’s are a little ‘flappy’. i’d never noticed it on my mum before, her layered light brown hair always cover them up. so cute. i smiled.


18.02.2010. my step father walked in with a sly smile on his face. always the kidder, always the joker. he loves laughing and making people laugh. dressed in funky clothing, he looks young and ‘cool’ for his age. “i got you a map of europe”, he says to andy. “oh great” andy smiles at him with kindness. my dad hands him over a little box. “here’s your map”. confusion spreads over andy’s face and mine. when andy opens the box, we see that it contains a tom tom gps system. “a gift for you” says my step father.

my mum & dylbee on Twitpic my dad and dylbee on Twitpic


25.02.2010. my brother and i sit on the bus from patcham to the centre of brighton. a lady opposite us is mewing like a cat and cackles on and off. her eyes wide, she stares at me intensely while producing more inane noises. my brother and i exchange glances. we pretend nothing is going on and tell each other in dutch to avoid eye contact with the lady. he continues to tell me stories about his life, thoughts, feelings. he manages to ignore the lady, i’m not so successful, she makes me nervous, fearful. all of a sudden i am deeply amused by and appreciative of my brother who just continues to talk on and on, like nothing is going on, while a cat lady makes crazy mewing sounds opposite us. the scene is truly hilarious, and i love him for it so much.

my brother and dylan

life. it keeps pushing me towards awareness, towards being present, to here, to now, to people, to thoughts, to emotions, to feelings, to joys, to fears, to carpet fibers, to birds, to grass, lemons, paintbrushes, pencils, light bulbs and books. it’s as if it screams at me sometimes, but i am so so sleepy, and unconscious much of the time. it makes me feel sad. and to that too, life wants me to be present. so i try, and then i am, and then fall asleep again, while being awake.

i’m taking more active measures to remain here. to remain now. it is really the only thing there is, so i’d better start valuing it, savouring it and noticing it more.


girl flower heart house

there is more. there is art, there is people, there is family who i don’t see a lot like my cousin mirjam who is beautiful in and out. there is my only living grandma who is gentle, beautiful and sweet, there are two young children, david and levi with sparkles in their eyes. there are my online art students, there is the blue, blue sky today with breath taking sunshine. there is my rainbow coloured fingerless gloves, nail varnish and my obsession with tidying the house. there are the big stuffed floppy elephant and the great green stuffed crocodile my mum gave us. there are my issues with food, my rheumatism, new meds that seem to make me fearful.

and of course of course of course, there are andy & dylan. andy, who is gentle, compassionate, beautiful and kind. his new thing is that he likes to give food to the birds in the garden. he goes out to buy those bird food balls and hanger things. the first 3 days, no birds came, while he stood excitedly in front of the window, looking out. now, we’ve seen several, including a robin and a ‘koolmeesje’. he makes me smile and sigh inside. he helps me, loves me, cares for me with kindness.

and dylbee, the centre of my universe, who manages to throw up on everything i own, including my face, and who knows exactly to poo mountains of poo when he’s not wearing a nappy, making me and andy laugh our heads off. dylan, who now is learning to eat solids and smears it all over his face with careful precision and who likes to put his feet and toes in his mouth! dylan, who makes me heart leap, swell, jump and grow, every day.

(toe eating)

dylan and daddy

dylan beauty

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a mix of things

hallo again! wow, another post from me!, so soon? :-)

well. imma gonna copy/ paste a few things over here that i posted somewhere else alreadies. seeing that not everyone here follows me everywhere else, ha ha.

so, a mix of things! number 1, big news; DYLAN CAN ROLL OVER! (yes, this IS a big deal!), see him in rolly over action here;

& this be a uber cute peekture of him (hat made by the awesome beverley);

we just received an awesome package from @beingbeverley!! she... on Twitpic

this be a uber silly pic of me;

aren't i charming. ;) on Twitpic

behind the cut are some questions i answered on which i have enjoyed doing;

Was art something you have always done, or was there a pivotal moment when you realised you wanted to make art part of your life?

I’ve always been artistic. I did drama, music & art as part of my A-levels (high school) and loved art in junior school as well. Photography came into my life in my twenties. Art (specifically painting/ drawing) was always a part of my life, but has taken on more of a professional focus in the last 5-6 years or so. Before that, it was more of an intense hobby.

What is your view/belief/feeling on God? Does God have a place in your life?

I am not a religious person but a spiritual one. I don’t believe in a God the way Christians or Muslims depict him. I believe God is all things and everyone. My spiritual views resonate most with Non-duality/ Zen & Buddhism. :)

Do you aim to follow any particular philosophy or parenting style for raising Dylan?

yes. andy and i live something called ‘nonviolent communication’ or ‘compassionate communication’ (by marshall rosenberg). it focuses on connecting authentically to human needs. it avoids moralistic judgements and punishment & rewards. as this is our life style, this will be how dylan is raised. :)

i’ve also noticed that some of my parenting approaches have elements of attachment parenting (such as; co-sleeping & feeding on demand/ request), but i don’t actually do those things because of attachment parenting, it’s just something that i naturally wanted to do. it feels ‘right’.

the focus for us is on nvc and child-led parenting. :-)

How come you’re so awesome?

ha ha! we all are! by default! we made it to this earth didn’t we? that’s pretty awesome to me : D

name please your 10 most favorite CDs ever

1. “Blue” Joni Mitchell
2. “Little Earthquakes” Tori Amos
3. “Rubber Soul” The Beatles
4. “Little Black Numbers” Kathryn Williams
5. “Ophelia” Natalie Merchant
6. “Almost Famous” Simon & Garfunkel
7. “Crime of the Century” Supertramp
8. “I Am Bird Now” Antony & the Johnsons
9. “Want Two” Rufus Wainwright
10. “Quelqu’un m’a dit” Carla Bruni

Are you happy with what you have done with your life, or would you change something?

i neglected the care of a white bunny when i was about 8 years old. it resulted in its death. i still feel utter guilt and sadness over this. i would’ve liked to have changed that. regarding major decisions in my life i am very contented and happy with what i’ve done with my life. :-)

Name five places you’d like to visit.

:-) visit again? or places i haven’t been to yet?

ok, places i haven’t been to yet;

1. new york (why? hey, it’s new yoik! ;), the most amazing city evar no? ;)) it’d be like walking around in a movie though, so that’d be weird, but wouldn’t deter me from going. :)

2. nepal (have always had an attraction to this country because of the colourful clothing people wear. should’ve visited it when i lived in sri lanka, but didn’t have the chance, also, it’s really roundabout to get from sl to nepal even though it’s so nearby)

3. iceland, any place that produced sigur ros must be an amazing place. i have such a mystical, magical impression of the country.

4. sweden, or any other scandanavian country really. love the language, love the people, love the snowy weather.

5. australia, such amazing vastness, hilariously cool accent, awesome animals (kangaroo/ koala – is it a coincidence they both start with a ‘k’?) and i have some great friends there.

There was a time in your life when you weren’t sure about marriage and babies etc, why? And what changed?

i only ever wanted to bring a child into the world if i knew i was psychologically, emotionally and financially stable (or at least; stable-er, ha ha). before andy came into my life i had a lot of emotional and psycholgical challenges and could not imagine caring for a child if i wasn’t able to care for myself! when i met andy, everything changed, i grew stronger on all levels and so marriage/ a child seemed to be a beautiful and logical consequence of it all.

Would you rather be a famous musician or a famous actor?

there was a time when i wanted to be both with equal ferocity for all the ‘wrong’ reasons. now, i enjoy doing music for a small audience. proper fame would absolutely do my head in.

What was your favorite book as a child?

i read a lot more as a child than i do now, sadly. a few of my favs were; ‘the secret garden’, ‘mio my mio’ and ‘the brother’s lionheart’.

feel free to ask me any questions if you like too, over here. i enjoy doing them! :D

3 more days until my next course starts! :-) if you want to experience it from the beginning, make sure to register before monday! (find out more here)

i’m making more little clay houses! it is very relaxing to do, very enjoyable process! :) i sold 3 of them already! :)


feeling a bit better emotionally. still completely freaked out by all the horror haiti stories (6 year old boy lies under rubble for 5 days, then gets saved, what must’ve gone on in that poor little mind for 5 days?! – father writes goodbye notes to little sons with own blood etc), but somehow coping better with this sort of information. byron katie helps me process and ‘being here-now-ness’ helps.

i’ve also started exercising on an exercise bike! yahah, we bought one for only £35 at Asda’s and it’s going pretty well so far!

i do 20mins a day while watching 1 episode of friends (or scrubs) in the morning while andy looks after dylan, it’s quite nice, because this way i don’t have to go to a gym or run outside, i can just wake up and step on this bike and get a tiny bit of cardio going (i still stop quite a bit but at least i’m doing something, trying to lose some of the pregnancy weight and whatever weight there was before the pregnancy too, ha ha!).

so, i’m more up at the moment. which makes me :0)

hope everyone is well.

hugga bugga. x

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