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August 09, 2021

The Beast

By Tamara Laporte  |   in abstract art  | Tags: art musings , abstract art , tamara laporte , Willowing Arts  

The Beast.

I spent 4 hours wrestling with this beast of a painting last night. It’s a beast because it’s large 20 x 20”, and it’s a beast because it was created on heavy, cradled (maple) wood board. It was also a beast because it fought me with a snarl, tooth and nail. You likely wouldn’t think it, considering it now looks like an abstract version of a cotton candy unicorn; so light and fluffy and colourful, but that is a bit of a metaphor for my life anyway: I usually end a bloody war in ‘the light’ so to speak. I’m rarely ‘just light’ though without having sat with ‘the dark’ for a while, you just don’t always see it.

I’ve been struggling over the past 3 to 4 months or so on many levels, the inner, the outer, the greater, the smaller. The macro, the micro, the personal, the social. It’s all been weighing me down and raising so many questions. I’m also on the up/down rollercoaster of emotions: one moment I feel positive about the future of ‘things’, other moments I crumble and fall apart at the smallest of inconveniences and it connects me to a neglected grief that’s been patiently waiting for me with a sad smile. As much as I know that grief is a friend; I rarely look directly at her. I might, after all, turn into stone or ashes and hardening up or falling apart is not an option right now.

Last night, while painting, I watched a film called ‘Interstellar’ and it’s about humans trying to find another planet to live on as Earth is dying in this film. And at some point, someone said something that included the word ‘mankind’. As the word was uttered, it caught me unexpected; I froze and inhaled a choking breath as if the word ‘mankind’ was caught in my throat like a fly in a spider’s web or like a hot piece of coal and I started to sob, deeply. Like heaving, dramatic sobs. The love I feel for ‘mankind’ (as fucked up as it is) washed over me and I cried for all that’s been, all that’s happened, all that’s happening right now and all that’s to come. Grief managed to make me look at her for a second there after all. Sneaky.

Back to this beast of a painting. I’ve been painting a lot of abstracts lately. For years I’ve flirted with abstracts and struggled, but the flirting has turned into full on committed marriage now and I can’t let go. I’m a tiny bit obsessed.

Painting abstract is much harder than figurative art though. You can’t rely on imagery to convey a message, you are much more reliant on using colour effectively, contrast, composition, movement, rhythm etc. There is a depth of poetry, mystery and mysticism in abstract that can be really hard to grasp. I believe much of the qualities of abstract art live in the right, emotional, relational parts of the brain. People with trauma (like me) have a tendency to be more left-brained, more logical, more problem-solving than relational and it’s taken me years to open the door to the metaphors of the mystery of being alive. Since I’ve been doing work with the remarkable Sarah Peyton (trauma work with a focus on empathic resonance and the brain), my brain is a much safer place to live in and access to the beauty of metaphor, poetry and relationality is more readily available to me now.

I think I feel called to explore abstract more now because I am healing the numbed, oppressed and violated parts of me. Something cold is melting away and allowing for something new to grow. It feels like a change, transformation or an evolution of some sorts.

But, it is beastly work! Hard and treacherous is the road of healing, evolving, facing the dark (and grief!). I’ll keep wrangling with it all.

Thanks for reading a somewhat longer art/ life musing, in an almost blog-like format. It flowed spontaneously out of my fingers today. I’ve been wanting to share more intimately with people online for some time now but have not found it that safe and less easy over the past 4/5 years. I used to blog 2/3 times a day many years ago and loved it. Jumping back into a mini blog format feels comfortable and safe somehow. Thanks for reading. I appreciate you. Oh and hope you like the painting! I love it! It was created over several layers of other paintings finished off with amazingly creamy and beautiful oil pastels by Sennelier! They are like butter! 😍😍😍

***

If you want to buy this painting or a replica thereof pls email Tam on tam@willowing.org

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Mixed media artist, teacher and author. I don’t see all IG msgs. For enq pls email hello@willowing.org - Join Creating Cuties:

In and amongst all the admin work and all the prep there is little to no time for art but managed to grab a small hour to create a quick sweet thing. 😊 🐱 🐈‍⬛ 😍😍😍

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In and amongst all the admin work and all the prep there is little to no time for art but managed to grab a small hour to create a quick sweet thing. 😊 🐱 🐈‍⬛ 😍😍😍

Frensies! I’m SO MEGA excited because it’s nearly time! On 1st September, A Year of Magic & Fairy Tales will open for enrolment, and for the first 1,000 magical souls, you can join at the lowest price available (these always go fast, so keep an eye out!).

If you’ve been longing for a year of creativity, comfort, and everyday enchantment, this is your gentle nudge. We’ll wander through glowing forests, meet enchanted creatures, and rediscover the magic hidden in the ordinary, with a sparkling taster event to start our adventure! 🧚✨🦄

We are deep in the trenches of prepping this magical event, I can’t wait to share it with you! 😍😍😍

If your heart needs a warm, creative hug and a sprinkle of fairy dust, this is for you. Full details, teacher line-up, and taster info are coming very soon; watch your inbox!

If you`re not on the newsletter, now is the time to join! Join the newsletter here: https://bit.ly/WillowingNews to be the first to get all the deets!! 😍😍😍 (or link in my bio/ linktree/ stories)

Open
Frensies! I’m SO MEGA excited because it’s nearly time! On 1st September, A Year of Magic & Fairy Tales will open for enrolment, and for the first 1,000 magical souls, you can join at the lowest price available (these always go fast, so keep an eye out!).

If you’ve been longing for a year of creativity, comfort, and everyday enchantment, this is your gentle nudge. We’ll wander through glowing forests, meet enchanted creatures, and rediscover the magic hidden in the ordinary, with a sparkling taster event to start our adventure! 🧚✨🦄

We are deep in the trenches of prepping this magical event, I can’t wait to share it with you! 😍😍😍 

If your heart needs a warm, creative hug and a sprinkle of fairy dust, this is for you. Full details, teacher line-up, and taster info are coming very soon; watch your inbox!

If you're not on the newsletter, now is the time to join! Join the newsletter here: https://bit.ly/WillowingNews to be the first to get all the deets!! 😍😍😍 (or link in my bio/ linktree/ stories)

Celebrate Joy. In 2014, I went on a retreat in Bali with the wonderful Flora Bowley, and for some time afterwards, I found myself playing with the techniques and ideas I learned from her in my own art. I loved discovering all the luminous colours and acrylic brands Flora used; Quinacridone Magenta, Cobalt Teal, Quinacridone Nickel Azo Gold (sadly discontinued, I think), and Turquoise Phthalo have all become favourites over the years!

This painting is one of those where I experimented with methods and ideas from Flora, but you can definitely still see the ‘Tamness’ shining through. The whimsy and quirkiness are classic Tam! I love learning from other artists and weaving little pieces of their style into my own. Over time, this process gradually transforms into something that’s uniquely yours.

That’s why I always reassure my students not to worry about ‘copying’ a teacher’s style too much. In the beginning, you might follow closely; eventually, you’ll drop the bits that don’t resonate, and keep the things that do, putting your own spin on them until, voilà, a whole new style emerges! It’s such a beautiful thing, because we’re all interconnected as humans; we learn from each other in so many ways, and it’s lovely to have a legacy of teachers leaving gentle traces within the art you create.

For me, it speaks to a kind of spiritual oneness. It reminds me how connected we all are to the whole. ✨🙌✨

Have you ever noticed little hints of your favourite artists peeking through in your own work, or a moment when something you learned from someone else transformed into something uniquely yours? I’d love to hear your stories!

This is day 17 of a ‘gentle return to social media’ read more about this practice here: http://bit.ly/3IHFxir 🌱

Open
Celebrate Joy. In 2014, I went on a retreat in Bali with the wonderful Flora Bowley, and for some time afterwards, I found myself playing with the techniques and ideas I learned from her in my own art. I loved discovering all the luminous colours and acrylic brands Flora used; Quinacridone Magenta, Cobalt Teal, Quinacridone Nickel Azo Gold (sadly discontinued, I think), and Turquoise Phthalo have all become favourites over the years!

This painting is one of those where I experimented with methods and ideas from Flora, but you can definitely still see the ‘Tamness’ shining through. The whimsy and quirkiness are classic Tam! I love learning from other artists and weaving little pieces of their style into my own. Over time, this process gradually transforms into something that’s uniquely yours.

That’s why I always reassure my students not to worry about ‘copying’ a teacher’s style too much. In the beginning, you might follow closely; eventually, you’ll drop the bits that don’t resonate, and keep the things that do, putting your own spin on them until, voilà, a whole new style emerges! It’s such a beautiful thing, because we’re all interconnected as humans; we learn from each other in so many ways, and it’s lovely to have a legacy of teachers leaving gentle traces within the art you create.

For me, it speaks to a kind of spiritual oneness. It reminds me how connected we all are to the whole. ✨🙌✨ 

Have you ever noticed little hints of your favourite artists peeking through in your own work, or a moment when something you learned from someone else transformed into something uniquely yours? I’d love to hear your stories!

This is day 17 of a ‘gentle return to social media’ read more about this practice here: http://bit.ly/3IHFxir 🌱

When I was a teenager, I collected elephant statues; by the time I was 18, I must’ve had hundreds. I’ve always adored elephants. There`s something about their grounded presence and quiet wisdom that feels profoundly comforting. I love that they’re matriarchal, that they mourn their dead, that they move through the world with a seeming intelligence and heart.

When Andy and I lived in Sri Lanka for three years, we visited an elephant sanctuary and it was honestly one of the most magical experiences of my life. Watching the gentle connection between carers and elephants moved me deeply. They had a beautiful closeness I silently envied!

So it’s no surprise that elephants have wandered their way into my art again and again. I love painting them both whimsically and realistically. Their shapes are so satisfying to work with: cute chonky feet, soulful eyes, those expressive trunks and giant ears; it’s like they’re built for art! 🎨🖌️

This piece, painted back in 2014, is a special one. I was exploring how to bring more “grunge” and texture into my work; layering deeply, playing with contrasts. The rough, earthy background felt like the perfect contrast to the milky-white skin of the elephant, who gazes out with such a soft, knowing expression. Even here, she seems to whisper: be gentle. be wise. be still.

I hope she brings some of that same quiet comfort to your day, too. 🤍 🐘

This is day 16 of a ‘gentle return to social media’ read more about this practice here: http://bit.ly/3IHFxir 🌱

Open
When I was a teenager, I collected elephant statues; by the time I was 18, I must’ve had hundreds. I’ve always adored elephants. There's something about their grounded presence and quiet wisdom that feels profoundly comforting. I love that they’re matriarchal, that they mourn their dead, that they move through the world with a seeming intelligence and heart.

When Andy and I lived in Sri Lanka for three years, we visited an elephant sanctuary and it was honestly one of the most magical experiences of my life. Watching the gentle connection between carers and elephants moved me deeply. They had a beautiful closeness I silently envied! 

So it’s no surprise that elephants have wandered their way into my art again and again. I love painting them both whimsically and realistically. Their shapes are so satisfying to work with: cute chonky feet, soulful eyes, those expressive trunks and giant ears; it’s like they’re built for art! 🎨🖌️ 

This piece, painted back in 2014, is a special one. I was exploring how to bring more “grunge” and texture into my work; layering deeply, playing with contrasts. The rough, earthy background felt like the perfect contrast to the milky-white skin of the elephant, who gazes out with such a soft, knowing expression. Even here, she seems to whisper: be gentle. be wise. be still.

I hope she brings some of that same quiet comfort to your day, too. 🤍 🐘

This is day 16 of a ‘gentle return to social media’ read more about this practice here: http://bit.ly/3IHFxir 🌱

You are the light. ✨⭐️🌟💫

Open
You are the light. ✨⭐️🌟💫
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