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August 09, 2021

The Beast

By Tamara Laporte  |   in abstract art  | Tags: art musings , abstract art , tamara laporte , Willowing Arts  

The Beast.

I spent 4 hours wrestling with this beast of a painting last night. It’s a beast because it’s large 20 x 20”, and it’s a beast because it was created on heavy, cradled (maple) wood board. It was also a beast because it fought me with a snarl, tooth and nail. You likely wouldn’t think it, considering it now looks like an abstract version of a cotton candy unicorn; so light and fluffy and colourful, but that is a bit of a metaphor for my life anyway: I usually end a bloody war in ‘the light’ so to speak. I’m rarely ‘just light’ though without having sat with ‘the dark’ for a while, you just don’t always see it.

I’ve been struggling over the past 3 to 4 months or so on many levels, the inner, the outer, the greater, the smaller. The macro, the micro, the personal, the social. It’s all been weighing me down and raising so many questions. I’m also on the up/down rollercoaster of emotions: one moment I feel positive about the future of ‘things’, other moments I crumble and fall apart at the smallest of inconveniences and it connects me to a neglected grief that’s been patiently waiting for me with a sad smile. As much as I know that grief is a friend; I rarely look directly at her. I might, after all, turn into stone or ashes and hardening up or falling apart is not an option right now.

Last night, while painting, I watched a film called ‘Interstellar’ and it’s about humans trying to find another planet to live on as Earth is dying in this film. And at some point, someone said something that included the word ‘mankind’. As the word was uttered, it caught me unexpected; I froze and inhaled a choking breath as if the word ‘mankind’ was caught in my throat like a fly in a spider’s web or like a hot piece of coal and I started to sob, deeply. Like heaving, dramatic sobs. The love I feel for ‘mankind’ (as fucked up as it is) washed over me and I cried for all that’s been, all that’s happened, all that’s happening right now and all that’s to come. Grief managed to make me look at her for a second there after all. Sneaky.

Back to this beast of a painting. I’ve been painting a lot of abstracts lately. For years I’ve flirted with abstracts and struggled, but the flirting has turned into full on committed marriage now and I can’t let go. I’m a tiny bit obsessed.

Painting abstract is much harder than figurative art though. You can’t rely on imagery to convey a message, you are much more reliant on using colour effectively, contrast, composition, movement, rhythm etc. There is a depth of poetry, mystery and mysticism in abstract that can be really hard to grasp. I believe much of the qualities of abstract art live in the right, emotional, relational parts of the brain. People with trauma (like me) have a tendency to be more left-brained, more logical, more problem-solving than relational and it’s taken me years to open the door to the metaphors of the mystery of being alive. Since I’ve been doing work with the remarkable Sarah Peyton (trauma work with a focus on empathic resonance and the brain), my brain is a much safer place to live in and access to the beauty of metaphor, poetry and relationality is more readily available to me now.

I think I feel called to explore abstract more now because I am healing the numbed, oppressed and violated parts of me. Something cold is melting away and allowing for something new to grow. It feels like a change, transformation or an evolution of some sorts.

But, it is beastly work! Hard and treacherous is the road of healing, evolving, facing the dark (and grief!). I’ll keep wrangling with it all.

Thanks for reading a somewhat longer art/ life musing, in an almost blog-like format. It flowed spontaneously out of my fingers today. I’ve been wanting to share more intimately with people online for some time now but have not found it that safe and less easy over the past 4/5 years. I used to blog 2/3 times a day many years ago and loved it. Jumping back into a mini blog format feels comfortable and safe somehow. Thanks for reading. I appreciate you. Oh and hope you like the painting! I love it! It was created over several layers of other paintings finished off with amazingly creamy and beautiful oil pastels by Sennelier! They are like butter! 😍😍😍

***

If you want to buy this painting or a replica thereof pls email Tam on tam@willowing.org

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Mixed media artist, teacher and author. I don’t see all IG msgs. For enq pls email hello@willowing.org - Join A Year of Magic & Fairy Tales:

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✨ Just one more sleep! ✨

Our Year of Magic & Fairy Tales taster sessions begin tomorrow, and I’m SO excited to share this enchanting journey with you! 🧜‍♀️🐉💖

Get ready to dive into beautiful, joy-filled art sessions where we explore mermaids, dragons, fairy tale wonders, and the magic of mixed media!

Come play with us, you won’t regret it, take a break from the stresses of the world, step into the magic and express your deepest enchantment with us! ♥️

If you haven’t signed up yet, it’s not too late! (Link in bio and stories) 

Let’s dive into the magic together... 🪄

With love and pixie dust,

Tam & Team xoxo

🦋✨🎨

FRIENDS! Only 3 days to go until we open the doors to the Year of Magic & Fairy Tales Taster Event! 🧚✨🦄

For 9 days you’ll receive a treasure trove of art sessions from 30+ inspiring teachers (no charge); each one sharing their own creative magic, techniques, and fairy-tale wonder. It’s the perfect chance to sample the course, connect with our vibrant community, and bring a little enchantment to your art table.

Haven’t signed up yet? Don’t miss out! Join us now and step into a world of creativity, stories, and sparkling inspiration!

To join click link in bio!

With fairy wings and so much love,
Tam x ✨💕

Open
FRIENDS! Only 3 days to go until we open the doors to the Year of Magic & Fairy Tales Taster Event! 🧚✨🦄

For 9 days you’ll receive a treasure trove of art sessions from 30+ inspiring teachers (no charge); each one sharing their own creative magic, techniques, and fairy-tale wonder. It’s the perfect chance to sample the course, connect with our vibrant community, and bring a little enchantment to your art table.

Haven’t signed up yet? Don’t miss out! Join us now and step into a world of creativity, stories, and sparkling inspiration!

To join click link in bio! 

With fairy wings and so much love,
Tam x ✨💕

A magical event would not be complete without a fierce protective magical dragon don’t you think? Loved painting him so much last night! 😍😍😍 🐉 🧚✨🦄

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A magical event would not be complete without a fierce protective magical dragon don’t you think? Loved painting him so much last night! 😍😍😍 🐉 🧚✨🦄

Dear friends! We begin soon! 🧚✨🦄 30+ art sessions our gift to you!
The countdown has officially begun – we`re just ONE week away from start of the amazing Taster Sessions of A Year of Magic & Fairy Tales! ✨ I can hardly contain my excitement and I hope you`re feeling it too! This is going to be a week filled with beautiful classes, inspiring techniques, and a community of wonderful people ready to explore and create the themes of magic & fairy tales together! 🥰
What makes this so special:
🎨 Sneak Peek: Explore classes with each of the Year of Magic teachers for a taste of what`s to come on the full “Year of Magic” course.
🎨 Diverse Styles: Each class brings with it a unique flair, each day will bring something new and exciting to add to your artistic toolkit. 🎨🖌️
🎨 Bring Magic, Enchantment & Imagination to your life: Life has been challenging for many of us, let’s bring more magic to our lives!
🎨 Creative Community: Connect with other artists, share your progress, and get inspired by the incredible talent around you in our communal Facebook group.
Link in the comments! ♥️♥️♥️ Join us, we begin so soon! -> https://bit.ly/AYOMTastersTam - 30+ free art sessions yay! (if link doesn`t work, pls go to bio and click on the link there, it`ll take you to my linktree and you`ll find clickable links).

Open
Dear friends! We begin soon! 🧚✨🦄 30+ art sessions our gift to you! 
The countdown has officially begun – we're just ONE week away from start of the amazing Taster Sessions of A Year of Magic & Fairy Tales! ✨ I can hardly contain my excitement and I hope you're feeling it too! This is going to be a week filled with beautiful classes, inspiring techniques, and a community of wonderful people ready to explore and create the themes of magic & fairy tales together! 🥰 
 What makes this so special:
🎨 Sneak Peek: Explore classes with each of the Year of Magic teachers for a taste of what's to come on the full “Year of Magic” course.
🎨 Diverse Styles: Each class brings with it a unique flair, each day will bring something new and exciting to add to your artistic toolkit. 🎨🖌️ 
🎨 Bring Magic, Enchantment & Imagination to your life: Life has been challenging for many of us, let’s bring more magic to our lives!
🎨 Creative Community: Connect with other artists, share your progress, and get inspired by the incredible talent around you in our communal Facebook group.
Link in the comments! ♥️♥️♥️ Join us, we begin so soon! -> https://bit.ly/AYOMTastersTam - 30+ free art sessions yay! (if link doesn't work, pls go to bio and click on the link there, it'll take you to my linktree and you'll find clickable links).

Spent time today painting this super cute Ellie having a bubble bath! 🛀 🐘 How cute is he? 😍

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Spent time today painting this super cute Ellie having a bubble bath! 🛀 🐘 How cute is he? 😍
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