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April 16, 2018

Simple Steps to Self Empathy <3 Love note #17

By Tamara Laporte  |   in love notes  | Tags: steps to self empathy , love notes , willowing  


♥ Willowing Love Notes to Inspire Self Love & Self Care ♥


Hello sweet friends,

I hope you know how much you matter. How important you are. That I know how much you can sometimes struggle and try your hardest, your bestest to ‘do it right’. I see you. I hear you. I understand.

Today, I wanted to share some Simple Self Empathy Steps with you that I hope might help you when you feel upset, overwhelmed or stressed.

In times of upset, we often try to ‘push through’ and ‘get on with our lives’ instead of paying attention to what our body is trying to tell us. Feelings need your attention and love. Unmet needs, need your attention and love.

It’s absolutely important, if not imperative, to make space and time for feeling/ hearing/ understanding your feelings and needs and be with them, if only for a moment, in a compassionate, empathic way.

Bonus: when you actually pay attention to your feelings, even the negative ones (especially the negative ones!) they dissipate more quickly! An interesting paradox for sure. Pushing them down keeps them firmly sitting stubbornly inside your body waiting to be heard!

So, ready? Here are some simple steps you can take when you’re feeling stressed, upset or overwhelmed. Hope it helps you. I have a high res version of this poster too, you can print it out and hang up to remind you of the steps if you want to.

When you look for feelings, look for ‘sensations’ & ‘feelings’ in the body, they are different from thoughts (though it’s fine to notice those too!) Sensations could be: tingling/ heaviness/ emptiness/ tired. Feelings could be: sad/ scared/ frustrated/ worried/ weary/ panicked/ angry etc. (Check out a comprehensive feelings list here).

When looking for needs, go deeper and look for needs that are essential to life such as: to be understood, love, connection, belonging, for your intention to be seen, respect, care, consideration, rest, freedom, play, beauty, spaciousness, etc. (Check out a comprehensive needs list here).

Download the high resolution version of this poster here. You can print out for personal use. Feel free to forward to friends. <3

Much love,
xoox
Tam x


PS. If you want to work more on self love & self acceptance AND develop your creative skills whilst having tons of fun, please consider joining Life Book 2018. We started in January but you can absolutely still join us!

Life Book has been joined by over 19,500+ people since it first began in 2012. It’s had roaring success through teaching participants creativity and personal development skills.

People send us daily message expressing their gratitude and how much Life Book has helped them both creatively and personally. :) I  feel so blessed to be able to host such a powerful and life-enriching course each year! This year has started with an incredible BANG and YOU can still join now problem. :) It’s not too late, you get access to all previous content, get life long access AND you can download everything too, so you have the content for year to come! :) Hope to see you there!
xoox

The Willowing Love Notes Series aims to send you a love note every 1 – 2 weeks.
Its mission is to support you on your self love and self care journey.
I hope you enjoy it. <3

From my heart to yours:
you are truly loved.

Big hugs!


You may also like:

  • Free Spirit – Painterly Play

  • Moon Children to Inspire You. <3

  • Tea and Cake with Gracie featuring Melissa Dinwiddie

Comments:

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Tamara Laporte

willowing

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Mixed media artist, teacher and author. I don’t see all IG msgs. For enq pls email hello@willowing.org - Join Creating Cuties:

Mental health struggles and trauma made me a seeker. I’ve been drawn to the spiritual from a young age. I started dabbling in ideas like astral travel at 15 (attempted doing it but never managed it, by the way 😅), read books about out-of-body experiences (hello, Robert Monroe!), and devoured stories by hypnotherapists who regressed their clients to past lives. It was (and still IS) deeply fascinating to me. A part of me was always looking for deeper answers through the spiritual.

Though I never felt called to the major religions (aside from a soft spot for Buddhism and Zen), I became intrigued by the more modern spiritual teachers of our time. I follow(ed) Eckhart Tolle, Matt Kahn, Ram Dass, Gangaji, Teal Swan, Adyashanti… and perhaps most notably, Byron Katie. I also loved listening to Alan Watts wax poetic about the nature of existence and the universe. For a while I worshipped these people in many ways and felt they held the answers to all of life’s mysterious problems.

Many of these figures have since fallen from their pedestals a bit, but their ideas and approaches to life helped me enormously in times of distress.

Byron Katie, in particular, was a huge influence on me for a time. I even interviewed her for my YouTube channel (the video is now private). During that conversation, she gifted me a scholarship to her "9 Days for The Work" program. I was deeply honoured, jumped on a plane... only to discover that the experience didn’t resonate with me at all. In fact, I found parts of it quite harmful.

I haven’t spoken publicly about this much, but those memories have been resurfacing lately. It feels important to acknowledge how easy it is to place ‘beloved gurus’ on pedestals, forgetting that they, too, are human. Flawed. Sometimes even dangerous.

In my own journey, I’ve learned to take what works from a teacher or teaching, and leave the rest behind. This painting (2014), featuring a powerful and beautiful quote by Byron Katie, reflects the love I had (and still have) for parts of her work. I still find some of it deeply helpful. But now I hold it all through a more balanced, humanised lens.

What about you? Have your gurus ever `fallen`? ♥️♥️♥️

Open
Mental health struggles and trauma made me a seeker. I’ve been drawn to the spiritual from a young age. I started dabbling in ideas like astral travel at 15 (attempted doing it but never managed it, by the way 😅), read books about out-of-body experiences (hello, Robert Monroe!), and devoured stories by hypnotherapists who regressed their clients to past lives. It was (and still IS) deeply fascinating to me. A part of me was always looking for deeper answers through the spiritual.

Though I never felt called to the major religions (aside from a soft spot for Buddhism and Zen), I became intrigued by the more modern spiritual teachers of our time. I follow(ed) Eckhart Tolle, Matt Kahn, Ram Dass, Gangaji, Teal Swan, Adyashanti… and perhaps most notably, Byron Katie. I also loved listening to Alan Watts wax poetic about the nature of existence and the universe. For a while I worshipped these people in many ways and felt they held the answers to all of life’s mysterious problems. 

Many of these figures have since fallen from their pedestals a bit, but their ideas and approaches to life helped me enormously in times of distress.

Byron Katie, in particular, was a huge influence on me for a time. I even interviewed her for my YouTube channel (the video is now private). During that conversation, she gifted me a scholarship to her "9 Days for The Work" program. I was deeply honoured, jumped on a plane... only to discover that the experience didn’t resonate with me at all. In fact, I found parts of it quite harmful.

I haven’t spoken publicly about this much, but those memories have been resurfacing lately. It feels important to acknowledge how easy it is to place ‘beloved gurus’ on pedestals, forgetting that they, too, are human. Flawed. Sometimes even dangerous.

In my own journey, I’ve learned to take what works from a teacher or teaching, and leave the rest behind. This painting (2014), featuring a powerful and beautiful quote by Byron Katie, reflects the love I had (and still have) for parts of her work. I still find some of it deeply helpful. But now I hold it all through a more balanced, humanised lens.

What about you? Have your gurus ever 'fallen'? ♥️♥️♥️

✨ One Week to Go! Come Join the Cutie-Ful Fun ✨
Friends! Here a joyful reminder that Creating Cuties starts in ONE WEEK!

I’m so excited to begin this adorable, joy-sparking journey! Over the coming weeks, we’ll be painting the cutest animal characters, exploring playful colour palettes, and learning how to infuse our work with charm, expression, and warmth.

If you’ve been thinking about joining us, now’s the time! Doors will be closing soon and so does the 25% off early bird discount code, and I’d so love to welcome you in before we begin!

Here’s what Creating Cuties is all about:

🌈 You`ll learn to draw and paint whimsical animals in sweet, joy-filled scenes
🎨 I’ll guide you step-by-step with accessible, mixed media techniques
🐾 It’s beginner-friendly, playful, and full of feel-good vibes
💖 Most importantly, it’s all about creating art that lifts your spirit
The course officially starts on 12th August and you’ll get instant access to the classroom as soon as we begin.

✨ Don’t miss your chance to join this heartwarming, creativity-boosting adventure!

👉 Click here to sign up now:

https://bit.ly/CreatingCuties

Let’s paint some cuteness together; it would be an honour to have you in the class. ♥️♥️♥️

Big hugs and sparkly paws,
Tam
@everyone

Open
✨ One Week to Go! Come Join the Cutie-Ful Fun ✨
Friends!  Here a joyful reminder that Creating Cuties starts in ONE WEEK! 

I’m so excited to begin this adorable, joy-sparking journey! Over the coming weeks, we’ll be painting the cutest animal characters, exploring playful colour palettes, and learning how to infuse our work with charm, expression, and warmth.

If you’ve been thinking about joining us, now’s the time! Doors will be closing soon and so does the 25% off early bird discount code, and I’d so love to welcome you in before we begin!

Here’s what Creating Cuties is all about:

🌈 You'll learn to draw and paint whimsical animals in sweet, joy-filled scenes
🎨 I’ll guide you step-by-step with accessible, mixed media techniques
🐾 It’s beginner-friendly, playful, and full of feel-good vibes
💖 Most importantly, it’s all about creating art that lifts your spirit
The course officially starts on 12th August and you’ll get instant access to the classroom as soon as we begin.

✨ Don’t miss your chance to join this heartwarming, creativity-boosting adventure!

👉 Click here to sign up now: 

https://bit.ly/CreatingCuties 

Let’s paint some cuteness together;  it would be an honour to have you in the class. ♥️♥️♥️ 

Big hugs and sparkly paws,
Tam 
@everyone

I`m doing final preps for my new course (Creating Cuties) and just bumped into this super sweet image, totally forgot that I`d made this cute little character with funny speech bubble. One of the perks of perimenopause BRAIN FOG, is that you also forget the fun stuff you did for others and then are pleasantly surprised when you find random funny/ sweet things you did! 😂😁😆

Open
I'm doing final preps for my new course (Creating Cuties) and just bumped into this super sweet image, totally forgot that I'd made this cute little character with funny speech bubble. One of the perks of perimenopause BRAIN FOG, is that you also forget the fun stuff you did for others and then are pleasantly surprised when you find random funny/ sweet things you did! 😂😁😆

"Angels Are Always With You" - This painting, created in 2014, was loosely inspired by the mystical works of Susan Seddon Boulet. Her art whispered to me of protection, connection, and unseen realms; and I was quietly enamoured by it all.

Looking back on my childhood, I realise that I grew up with a strong sense that I had to be independent, resilient, and self-reliant; a kind of emotional armouring that still echoes through me today. It’s something I’ve worked on in therapy for many years, but a streak of avoidant attachment still lingers. Being bullied in childhood and not receiving much support for this; I learned early on that depending on others often led to disappointment, so I built my safety through self-dependence.

My beautiful love Andy, and many of my close friends these days, continue to show me (again and again) that this belief doesn’t always hold true. That some people can be safe harbours and that is why kindness and true support heals me a bit, every day.

Still, you can see in this painting a deep yearning, perhaps even a knowing, that I’ve always held: a longing to be surrounded by protectors. Angels. Guides. Mentors. Elders. Ancestors. I feel them, both the ones in spirit, and a few very special ones in the flesh. 💕

I remember once, in my twenties, feeling so ready for a teacher that I approached a real, board-certified Zen master. I was prepared to be devoted, to be led. He invited me to meet at a pub and promptly spilled beer on my trousers. 😂 At the time, I was slightly horrified. Now I see: perhaps that was the lesson. (Very Zen.)

And so, I kept walking my own path. But even now, I believe those angels (seen or unseen) have always been with me. In whispers, in wings, in laughter, in love. Somehow, some way.

This is day 10 of a ‘gentle return to social media’ read more about this practice here: http://bit.ly/3IHFxir 🌱

Open
"Angels Are Always With You" - This painting, created in 2014, was loosely inspired by the mystical works of Susan Seddon Boulet. Her art whispered to me of protection, connection, and unseen realms; and I was quietly enamoured by it all.

Looking back on my childhood, I realise that I grew up with a strong sense that I had to be independent, resilient, and self-reliant; a kind of emotional armouring that still echoes through me today. It’s something I’ve worked on in therapy for many years, but a streak of avoidant attachment still lingers. Being bullied in childhood and not receiving much support for this; I learned early on that depending on others often led to disappointment, so I built my safety through self-dependence.

My beautiful love Andy, and many of my close friends these days, continue to show me (again and again) that this belief doesn’t always hold true. That some people can be safe harbours and that is why kindness and true support heals me a bit, every day. 

Still, you can see in this painting a deep yearning, perhaps even a knowing, that I’ve always held: a longing to be surrounded by protectors. Angels. Guides. Mentors. Elders. Ancestors. I feel them, both the ones in spirit, and a few very special ones in the flesh. 💕 

I remember once, in my twenties, feeling so ready for a teacher that I approached a real, board-certified Zen master. I was prepared to be devoted, to be led. He invited me to meet at a pub and promptly spilled beer on my trousers. 😂 At the time, I was slightly horrified. Now I see: perhaps that was the lesson. (Very Zen.)

And so, I kept walking my own path. But even now, I believe those angels (seen or unseen) have always been with me. In whispers, in wings, in laughter, in love. Somehow, some way.

This is day 10 of a ‘gentle return to social media’ read more about this practice here: http://bit.ly/3IHFxir 🌱

In case you missed the newsletter! --> Coming in 2026: A whole year of magic & fairy tales! 🧚‍♀️📜

So many of you have asked about this…

“What’s the theme for your next year-long course, Tam?”
“Will there be another Year of Light or will we do something else?”

Well, I’m so excited to finally share it with you! 🌟 Ready? 😊

Next year’s magical, joy-filled, heart-expanding journey will be called:

✨ A Year of Magic & Fairy Tales ✨– a magical adventure through magic, story, wonder, and everyday enchantment.

This course is a heartfelt offering; not just for your creative practice, but also for your spirit. ✨🙏✨

I know that life can feel heavy sometimes (hello understatement). The world has been challenging for so many of us for a long while now. Personally, I’ve often found myself longing for comfort, softness, a sense of wonder… and that’s exactly what I’ve poured into this new course.

This course will offer a way to come back to yourself, to spark imagination, and to gently hold the parts of us that feel weary or overwhelmed. It’s balm for the soul; a little candle in the dark. 🕯️

In this course, we’ll explore magic in a broad sense, but also story, myth & lore and subjects like glowing forests, storybook characters, enchanted creatures, shimmering moons, and everyday objects or experiences turned magical. We’ll look for magic in the ordinary and extraordinary and paint it to our hearts’ content!

Expect a beautiful blend of my signature mixed media lessons, a stunning team of guest teachers, and a touch of playfulness, nostalgia, and wonder throughout. 🎨🦉🌙

I’ll share full details, the teacher line-up, and the early bird details & launch date very soon, but I wanted you to know the theme ahead of time, in case it resonates deeply and you’d like to save your spot.

If you’re craving magic, softness, enchantment and art that feels like a warm, whimsical hug; this one’s for you. 💛

With fairy wings and love,
Tam x ✨💕

PS. More details and all sign up info will launch near the end of August/ Early Sept ♥️♥️♥️

PPS. YES!! There will of course be an AWESOME taster event for this course too, can’t wait to share the details with you!!

Open
In case you missed the newsletter! --> Coming in 2026: A whole year of magic & fairy tales! 🧚‍♀️📜

So many of you have asked about this…

“What’s the theme for your next year-long course, Tam?”
“Will there be another Year of Light or will we do something else?”

Well, I’m so excited to finally share it with you! 🌟 Ready? 😊

Next year’s magical, joy-filled, heart-expanding journey will be called:

✨ A Year of Magic & Fairy Tales ✨– a magical adventure through magic, story, wonder, and everyday enchantment.

This course is a heartfelt offering; not just for your creative practice, but also for your spirit. ✨🙏✨

I know that life can feel heavy sometimes (hello understatement). The world has been challenging for so many of us for a long while now. Personally, I’ve often found myself longing for comfort, softness, a sense of wonder… and that’s exactly what I’ve poured into this new course.

This course will offer a way to come back to yourself, to spark imagination, and to gently hold the parts of us that feel weary or overwhelmed. It’s balm for the soul; a little candle in the dark. 🕯️

In this course, we’ll explore magic in a broad sense, but also story, myth & lore and subjects like glowing forests, storybook characters, enchanted creatures, shimmering moons, and everyday objects or experiences turned magical. We’ll look for magic in the ordinary and extraordinary and paint it to our hearts’ content!

Expect a beautiful blend of my signature mixed media lessons, a stunning team of guest teachers, and a touch of playfulness, nostalgia, and wonder throughout. 🎨🦉🌙

I’ll share full details, the teacher line-up, and the early bird details & launch date very soon, but I wanted you to know the theme ahead of time, in case it resonates deeply and you’d like to save your spot.

If you’re craving magic, softness, enchantment and art that feels like a warm, whimsical hug; this one’s for you. 💛

With fairy wings and love,
Tam x ✨💕

PS. More details and all sign up info will launch near the end of August/ Early Sept ♥️♥️♥️

PPS. YES!! There will of course be an AWESOME taster event for this course too, can’t wait to share the details with you!!
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